if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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