i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
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When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
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You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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