No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
