Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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