Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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