I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Everyone says I win the strip club
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
