AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Randomize
