One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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