Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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