honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
