OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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