i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Come share oat with me in your robe
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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