I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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