her vagine was all disorganized.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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