Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
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I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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