Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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