I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
