Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
