there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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