I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
