My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Duck Duck Cougar?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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