According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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