just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
