Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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