I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
