You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
