I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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