we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
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