Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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