Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm just crazy horny about you
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Drunk is a universal language darling
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
