I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
she peed on how many people?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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