I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
