I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
