I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
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Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
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I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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