im six kinds of drunk right now
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
