When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
My liver just had a heart attack.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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