sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
