a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
