apparently the secret to your success is patron
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
