My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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