gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
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