Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
The convent might be a nice break from real life
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize