I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
