dude i'm inner monologue high
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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