Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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