yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
