To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
