How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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