What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
