i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
