he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
