dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
