I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
