grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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