Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
