Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
this hospital has no fireball
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
