so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
