Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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