I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm always down for nudity.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
