it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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