My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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