I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
