yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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