Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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