This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
